Delivering an Emotional Speech

Delivering an Emotional Speech

I am running another round of my group voice program – more solo time with me, and likely the last time to get involved with one this year and help reach your voice goals.
8-week group training. The date will be set based on the group’s availability.

About a week ago, I was called upon to write and deliver a very special speech. My mother passed away about 10 days ago. My father had passed away 5 years ago. I spoke at his funeral and that was before I ever started this show. I wanted to speak at my mother’s funeral. I’ve been asked about writing for funeral speeches as well as delivering them at the actual funeral. I wanted to honor my mother and be true to who I was, and our relationship. Everyone in my family gets a little nervous when I’m handed a microphone. I was the youngest of four and was the last to speak at the funeral. My oldest brother didn’t speak but my older two sisters did and had wonderful things to say.

I want to first discuss my process. This felt high stakes to me. I didn’t want to miss anything or forget anything. I wanted to get this right. The day after I found out my mother had passed, I started jotting down notes anytime an idea, memory, or thought would pop into my head. I wrote my first draft the night before the funeral. This was only over the course of a couple of days, so it’s not a lengthy process. In comparison, my oldest sister sat down and struggled with what to write in the moment/under pressure. My middle sister also struggled with what to write, but she ended up writing it almost like a letter to Mom.

I had split-second moments where I questioned what I had to say but I knew I had to be real, speak from the heart, and say what was on my heart, without worrying what people may be thinking. I had to become 100% committed to my message and release the outcome. It was about me and honoring my mom.

To put this in perspective for your own presentation, where is your allegiance? To what people will think, or to delivering a message, teaching certain content, commitment to a mission, etc.? What is in your heart? You’ve got to connect to that message and speak from the heart.

To be clear, nothing in this speech was abusive. This is not a permission slip to be abusive with your message. There were definitely things I could have said that would be negative, but why would I do that? Those things are long forgotten and forgiven. What did I want to say to my audience? My audience was my mother. What did I want her to know? Ask yourself: what does my audience need to hear from my heart?

I opened and closed with a connection. I took my notes I’d been writing and made them into this speech. I opened my presentation regarding a post my sister had written about my mother. At the end of my speech, I circled back around to this post and put my own spin on you. You always want to open with a startling statement, fact or a story. Structurally, next it would be:
Credibility statement
tell us what you’re going to tell us
2-3 body parts with a transition
transition into conclusion

In this particular speech, I connected, introduced myself, thanked my siblings, and started with the stories and the memories (3-5). I talked about grace and forgiveness. I really spoke from the heart of who I was and what our relationship was.
I spoke about our challenges in our relationship in a positive way, from a perspective of grace and forgiveness which is what my mom was all about.

I linked: what did I want to say to my mother and what did I want to say to these people here who loved my mother?

I never type out a full presentation but I did for this and it was 3 pages long. I used heavier notes than usual instead of my typical bullet points. I knew it was going to take everything I had to not fall apart.

Don’t forget to breathe and slow down; regulate your breathing and focus on it when needed (such as difficult parts). This should be worked on prior because it is not something you can whip out in the moment without prior practice. I leaned into vocal variety, connection to my message, and connection to my content; bringing the words to life and honoring my mother with them.

Don’t try to feed off the audience; they could be feeding you the wrong thing. Be mind, body, voice connected to your message. Be knowledgeable. Release the outcome. Be in the moment. Notice your audience but don’t become affected by them.

Until next time, you know what to do. Get out there and speak your truth, just do it beautifully.

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Speaking in Your Real Voice

Speaking in Your Real Voice

Welcome to the show!

Have you ever wondered if you are speaking in your real voice? Your authentic voice you were born with, instead of the voice you have developed subconsciously to protect yourself. If you’re not speaking in your true voice, let’s work to shift that and get you to the next level, speaking authentically and truly as yourself.

The winner of the drawing for leaving a review is KUQT4U. I love to read your reviews – to know what you love, what you’d like to hear – and this really helps get the word out there about this podcast! I’m also about to start my 8-week group program. If you have not hit your voice goals yet and you’re still on the fence, I’d love to work with you! Check out this option: 8-Week Group Program

For the most part, most people are speaking in their real voice. There are many, however, who are not. What is your real voice? What is your not real voice? Your not real voice is when you literally create a voice that is not your authentic voice and it could be conscious or unconsciously created. It could be emulating someone you admire or respect, or a voice to fit in to societal expectations. You may be throwing in an accent, dialect, or certain pitch as a way to hide your true voice, your true self, without even realizing. Are you in an industry where you are using a broadcasting voice, or a performance voice? Either way, these alternate voices all become bulletproof glass, making your real self and your message impenetrable to your audience and unable to connect with you. What’s worse is this false voice you’ve created is nowhere near as good as your authentic voice and requires an exhausting amount of upkeep.

One of the guarantees you’re not speaking in your real voice is that your sound is stuck. Your sound may be stuck in one of five areas: throat, jaw, higher pitch, nasality, and dropping your endings/pulling it back in. Flow is a major issue when dealing with an inauthentic voice. This is the top layer of muscle memory and prevents you from having vocal variety. To hear where your sound is stuck and how to get it unstuck personally, I’d have to hear you specifically. However, what you can do is lay down on the ground and talk out loud. Hear how your voice sounds. Does it sound different? Does it feel different coming out? Does it flow? If it sounds or feels different, there is a good chance your voice is stuck.

So many people create an inauthentic voice because they want to be who people expect them to be, they want to be accepted, to feel better about themselves, to perform, to keep people out, to make an impression – but all of it is hiding and none of it is real. You believe you have to be something you’re not so you create a voice that’s something you’re not.

What you want is for us to connect with you. It’s all linked. You won’t get anywhere if we’re connecting. I have to know how you feel so I can make an emotional connection with you. All of this is about hiding – not feeling enough, or you have to hide, or you have to present as something else. Every single time I have shifted someone back into their real voice, they have fallen back in love with their real voice again. One of the ways you can reveal who you are is revealing who you are – are you excited? Frustrated?Angry? The responsible expressions you need to express vocally are driven by feelings. Start having conversations WITH people instead of speaking AT them or performing for them. Be grounded. Start letting people in. Your mind, body, and voice must be connected. Get out of your own head and focusing on the outcome.

Another option is to sit in a hard chair, sitting on your hands (palms down), and see if it feels any differently. Your voice is the orchestra of the heart. Check your breathing, too; your breathing is the fuel for vocal variety. You have to be grounded and connected to your breath. Some of these things are technical things that we can work on better in person or during a workshop, but these are also techniques I’ve discussed in other episodes that you can try on your own. Start rewriting your voice story and stop telling yourself (or believing) lies about your authentic voice.

I’d love to hear from you and your thoughts on your authentic voice and if you’ve tried these exercises. Other than social media, you’re always welcome to email me at Tracy@CaptivateTheRoom.com

Until next time, you know what to do. Get out there and speak your truth, just do it beautifully.

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Benefits of Changing What we Hear in Your Voice

Benefits of Changing What we Hear in Your Voice

Welcome to the show!

I recently was on a trip and got in a very engaging and thought provoking conversation about how next level voice, the Psychology of the Voice Effect can change things, what’s the value in it, in a nut shell, what do you get out of it.

It was an interesting conversation and I really had to bottom line my answers.

The truth is, it changes everything.

To have the opportunity to discover what we are hearing and processing in your voice and have that secret weapon and then to change that is power in and of itself.

But, we also can look at what could be repelling people in your voice, are there aversions that are turning people off, are you creating connections and especially emotional connections.

It was a great conversation and I thought I’d share the highlights with you!

My next group, Captivate the Room is now enrolling until Sunday.  If you want to work with me this year, now is the time to sign up!  www.captivatetheroom.com/captivategroup

Your Voice and Creativity w/ Saray Guidetti

Welcome to the show!

Today I’ve got a wonderful guest on the show.  Saray is an independent film maker and we met when she came to one of my workshops.

In today’s interview Saray and I talk about being a woman in Hollywood,

The challenges and magic of being an independent film maker,

The various ways she uses her voice as a film maker and producer,

How far Hollywood has to go still for women and so much more!

I think you are really going to enjoy hearing from Saray and about all of her projects.

 

Guest Bio

Saray D. Guidetti

Saray has created and directed two successful webseries: “Inspira”, which featured inspiring Latino leaders in America. “Inspira” was nominated for an Imagen Award in 2012. Her previous web series, “Planet Progress”, fiscally sponsored by IDA, won a Special Hero Award from My Hero International Film Festival and awarded with a Webby Honoree recognition. In 2015, her feature documentary, “American DREAMers”, premiered at the LA Film Festival which was released by Gravitas Ventures and Tugg Inc. in 2016. In 2017, Saray produced feature film, Amor en 266 Millas, which is set to release Fall, 2019.

Saray has also produced a handful of short films, from NALIP’s “Swimming in the Desert” starring Tony Plana (Ugly Betty), AFI DWW’s “The Haircut” starring Bailey Noble (True Blood), Molly Quinn (Castle) and Walter Fauntleroy (Heaven), “Ballon” starring Shelby Rabara (Goliath). And most recently, Saray has written and directed webseries pilot, Entanglement, starring Shelly Lukes (Strike Back) which premiered at the San Francisco Latino Film Festival in 2018, and Lady Justice, starring Mariana Vicente (Self / less), which premiered at the California Women’s Film Festival in July, 2019.

In addition, Saray works in television, having worked on various scripted comedies and dramas in production and post-production, and presently on Supergirl as an Associate Producer.

Personal Instagram link: http://instagram.com/saraydguidetti
Lady Justice teaser link: https://vimeo.com/315585736
Indiegogo link to Lady Justice: igg.me/at/ladyjustice
The Main Thing Holding You Back with Your Voice

The Main Thing Holding You Back with Your Voice

Welcome to the show!

 

A few upcoming events:

Online Trainings in September

Live Workshop in LA

Live Workshop in NYC

Live ACTOR Workshop in NYC

Don’t forget to leave a review and be entered to win a free session with me. Subscribe and Review on iTunes

It’s possible there are several things holding your voice back, but there is one that is holding you back more than anything else: perception.

Most people preface any kind of presentation or session with me with by telling me how terrible it sounds or reasons for why it will be poor quality. That’s your subconscious holding you back! Your perception of how your message is being received is holding you back from playing bigger, from stepping outside of your safety and comfort zone. You are judging yourself in a way that your audience is not. 99.9% of what you put out, what you perceive, is received entirely differently by your audience.

Notice the children in your life and how they boldly own their voice. Little by little – likely before you were five – our internal story is rewritten to remove our confidence, tear us down, and keep us playing “safe.” You have to put out a different product (your voice), to get a different reaction. When you are working on improving your voice and breaking down barriers, you are rewriting that internal driver. This then delivers a different “product” via your voice and received differently by your listeners. Stop giving your power away to the perception of what you think we’re thinking.

You must – must – grasp the idea that your perception is wrong – that your perception is not what we’re thinking. Then, move to the “now” and trust that you’ve got this. By being in the future and the past, you won’t have it. One of the questions you can ask yourself when you are feeling like no one wants to hear what you have to say, you don’t sound good, you should just keep quiet, etc.: is this ultimately true?

Until next time, you know what to do. Get out there and speak your truth, just do it beautifully.

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How Outcome Driven is Hurting Your Voice

How Outcome Driven is Hurting Your Voice

Welcome to the show!

This is episode 1 of season 5 of Captivate the Room. It’s hard to believe we are beginning year 5 of Captivate the Room. I love to hear from you; please reach out via any of the links listed in the show notes. The biggest compliment you could ever give is to Subscribe and Review on iTunes.

Today’s episode will cover what happens to your voice when you’re outcome-driven. Almost all of the people I work with are outcome-driven. Being outcome driven is a wonderful quality to have that often leads to success. I want you to keep your outcome given qualities while removing the barrier that comes through in your voice.  When I am speaking with someone who is outcome-driven, I can hear the outcome already at the beginning versus in the middle or the end. Other people may hear it or process it differently, but – either way – it is not in your favor. The way people hear it and process it subconsciously is what is so problematic. They hear it as if you are pushing it at them; you’re pushing them with your voice, as well as talking AT us because you are working to your agenda and the outcome. Why would I, as an audience member, be invested in what you have to say if it feels like you have already made up your mind and you’re just informing me? The outcome is in the future; how are you managing your voice now, in the moment?

In addition to letting your audience be a part of the conversation, you will also need to release the outcome. It may feel difficult at first, but if you can release the outcome and make me feel like I/audience matter, you will get the outcome you desire and don’t have to hold onto the reigns of control so tightly. It then becomes a matter of repetition and putting into your muscle memory after resetting the driver. This process may feel horrible and slow, but that is resistance; that is your subconscious trying to shut it down and keeping you playing small so you “can’t get hurt.” Your perception may tell you that you sound rediculous but 99.99% of the time perception does not equal reception.  

It’s hard to dive deep during one episode but for now, focus on:

  1. Conversation
  2. Being in the now
  3. Releasing the outcome

Until next time, you know what to do. Get out there and speak your truth, just do it beautifully.

A few upcoming events:

Online Trainings in September

Live Workshop in LA

Live Workshop in NYC

Live ACTOR Workshop in NYC

Facebook

Captivate the Room website

YouTube

Free training! The Voice Formula

Instagram

Subscribe and Review on iTunes